Don’t Yuck My Yum!

The other morning Ken and I dropped easefully into Saturday mode in his SF loft. He always swirls magic into our mugs of superbly frothed weekend Joe (my little reward for going the week without) and being the health nerd that I am, I make sure we drink my liver-happy, mineral infused lemon water beforehand. The morning was seamless. Sunshine pouring in through the tall south facing windows. Gentle tickles of caffeine illuminating my insides. Saturday relationship meeting in full swing. The day was off to a happy start.

But two hours later, the Yum mug was missing and nerves were on edge. “Yum” was the one we got alongide her sister “Sing” at the Haight Goodwill several months earlier. We always drink from these mugs now as they add a joyful vibe to the day. How could it be that half the joy was now missing? And how did it leave and where did it go? It must have been hijacked by a less than secure attachment style. Seems a ruthless cousin, Anxious now clutched the mug and in the confusion Yum seemed to simply disappear and Yuck entered the space for awhile.

“What did you do with it?” I heard on repeat. And I was clueless because his space is small and only so many places it could have escaped to. But once I recognized his Anxious was on the lookout, my Avoidant started it’s job of creeping away from the scene.

“I don’t know but maybe just relax and it’ll show up,” I said. And later, as he continued to persist, I added, “Just let go already. It’s only a thing!”

“But it’s Yum!” he insisted. “Our Sing and Yum kind of go together.”

“Well, you’re starting to Yuck my Yum!” was my response.

And so we went about our little tirade until Yum was discovered on the ledge in his bedroom by the candles who were doing their best to illuminate the obvious.

And of course some good belly laughs ensued as we teased apart this cute and mostly harmless example of how attachments styles can have their way with us when we’re not looking. In this example, attachment to a mug brought out two polarities in us. It was light work since we’ve been practicing and can usually catch our patterns early on. But in the Big Time, when left unchecked, serious relationship damage can occur when unconsciousness pervades, and styles are not attended to.  So don’t Yuck your partner’s Yum. Attune, dig in, and don’t lose your mug in relationship. Most of all, keep a sense of humor whenever possible for the best outcome. Only then can you Sing praises to the Yum!